There isn’t much known about Arpad Miklos’s suicide, — even close friend Randall Lynch says he was shocked when he found him Sunday night. But a note that Miklos left may shed some light on one cause of his depression: trolls. And if we’re smart, it also gives us a way to help prevent this in the future. A decent proposal, after the jump …
In addition to instructions as to what to do with his body, Miklos wrote that he knew, even in death, he’d be attacked. “Haters can hate,” he wrote in his suicide note. He brushed it off.
For a gay community outraged at our own bullying, maybe it’s time we look in the mirror at how we treat our own. The gay porn industry may not have killed Arpad Miklos, but we porn ‘fans’ might have.
Porn stars maybe brave, but they’re not robots. And if you’re dealing with other self-worth issues — around sexuality, age, looks, whatever — reading outrageously vicious comments that echo your own terrible insecurities might just be deadly. The trope of the basement troll calling someone ugly or fat or small-dicked gets laughed off in public by stars — but those words have consequences. Arpad was loved by a lot of people, and helped a lot of people come to terms with their sexuality. It’s sad that even in death he felt he had to address the people who attacked him in life.
Did nasty comments alone cause Roman Ragazzi’s depression? Erik Rhodes’ drug problem? Josh Weston’s body issues? No. Did they help?
As bloggers, I think it’s time we do a better job managing trolls. As a policy in the past, we’ve only removed the libelous, the racist, or the downright evil. But vicious, unconstructive attacks on people’s looks? From now on, leave it elsewhere. Or better yet — don’t leave it at all.
Related:
RIP: Arpad Miklos (1967-2013)
Kristen Bjorn Remembers Arpad Miklos
